Life With Our Little Ladies: Reality Check

Four is a fun age. For many reasons, it has also been the most challenging parenting stage for me yet. Though Abby is my mini me in so many ways, more than ever she is growing into her own (independant) little person. She helps and contributes to our family. She cares for and encourages everyone. She is cautious and carefree, meticulous and creative. She is organized (loves sorting everything) and messy! She shares her thoughts and opens our eyes to the world in new ways. She reminds us of who God is with the beautiful and original songs she makes up about Him and for Him. She pushes back and tests her boundaries by the hour. She tries to reason "her way" with logic and negotiating power. She often thinks she is 28 and the mom in the house...needing gentle reminders of her actual age and role. She is a mirror for me of myself as she absorbs every word I speak, every attitude I have, the way I love, my struggles with sin. I'm so thankful and humbled by what I learn through watching her and how much it makes me want to love Jesus more, to follow Him more and to love people more. I know it comes with her age, but the conversations we are having still amaze me on a daily basis.

Abby has always been curious and wanting to learn, but now at four, she wants to know and understand more. This often means much more complicated questions. But, with that comes a greater awareness of the brokenness in the world. While I'm so thankful for the chance to have these conversations with my girl, recently we've discussed some hard topics that I could see shook her world up a bit. My heart breaks when I watch my baby's eyes glaze over as she realizes life isn't as happy/safe/secure for everyone as it has been for her. I want her to have a realistic (age appropriate) view of the world, but watching her idealistic bubble burst is almost too painful for my mom heart to bear.

Divorce, death, strangers and the reality that there are mean people who might have bad intentions are hard for her sensitive and empathetic heart to process. With her thoughtful and seriously concerned line of questions, she stirred up my heart even more and at times left me speechless.

"Why don't all mommies and daddies stay married? I thought you said when you get married it means you will love the person forever. Then they had babies, Mom. Why did they stop loving each other? That will make their kids sad. Wait Mommy, were you sad when your mommy and daddy stopped being married? Did you cry every day when your mommy and daddy didn't live in the same house?"

"Mommy, if he (Laci Bacsi) died, who is going to keep the card I sent him? What about his kids are they sad now? I don't want to go to Heaven because then that means I would die and leave you until you get there to be there with me. So, I don't think I want to be with Jesus yet, okay Mommy?"

I explained to Abby the importance of never talking to a stranger when Mommy or Daddy are not there. Also, we ran through some scenarios about getting into a car with a stranger (even if the strangers say they want to bring her to us).

"Why would they want to do something bad like that? I don't like that. (starts anxiously shifting around) Can we please pray right now that God would protect us from any strangers who want to hurt us?"

Oh my sweet girl, how I pray that these questions and your awareness of this broken world would draw her more and more to the only One who makes things good and whole. The only One who can see the good in broken things and make beauty from ashes.

And then, this also happened recently....

Abby's babysitter shared a conversation with me that Abby had with her while I was gone:
Abby: Miss Margaret, do you love Jesus?
Margaret: Yes! I love him very much. Do you?
Abby: Yes! I love him very much too!

I'm so thankful for you, Abby Em. I'm thankful for these conversations that give me many chances to point you to Jesus. You continue to sharpen me and teach me as I teach you.

Thank you Lord for all that you are doing in our girls' hearts!

The same sun that rises over castles and welcomes the day

Spills over buildings into streets where orphans play

Only you can see the good in broken things

You took this heart of stone and you made it whole

You set this prisoner free